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I have discovered that since I have been sober and found the Lord that the devil has been coming at me from a lot of different ways. When I was actively using drugs and did not know Jesus, I didn’t realize he was controlling my life. Now I see he is trying to get back into my life by temptations and my giving me doubts. I have also discovered I have trouble with patience. I get mad about things I really want and are slow in coming. This could be a relapse trigger for me. I never see any of this coming at me; it just hits me without warning. I have discovered that prayer and going to AA meetings help me. I have been having night dreams of using drugs and drinking that I can’t control. It affects my thoughts in the day. I pray about these dreams that they become less as my sobriety and faith grows stronger and talk about them with my sponsor. I must always be prepared by having faith I God and always staying focused on my recovery. Living one day at a time and staying in contact with other recovering people will help me. I feel discovering these things are a growth process. Purpose Driven Life What drives my life? Some are driven by guilt. I can relate to this. In my active addiction I had a lot of guilt & shame because I could not stop using. I allowed my past to control my future. Resentment is another emotion I had that keep me in my addiction. I have learned my past will never change. I am only hurting myself with my bitterness. The Bible tells me that to worry with resentment is a foolish thing to do. I now have a new driven purpose to serve God. He is my driving force. A lot of people including myself try to use God for our purposes; that does not work. Even if I was (sic) really successful and fulfilling my purpose, I would still miss God’s purpose for me. I need more that self help advice. God has revealed to us hi s purpose for us through the Bible. His Book teaches us how to have a relationship with Him. There is no other way! Big Book Reflection- There is a solution! Alcoholics are from all walks of life. Addiction will not discriminate. This helps me to know that I am not an addict because of where I came from. We have a common solution for our shared problem. Since I have released from prison, I have found a new way of life. Every day is a struggle, but it has been getting easier. Going to meetings and sharing my problems helps me to stay focused on my recovery. Hearing others, reading the Book Book recovery stories is a big help. I had a lot of fear going to my first AA meeting. But now that I have started, I look forward to hearing recovering addict’s stories. I have found a solution with AA meetings and by having a sponsor. As long as I live each day one day at a time and always recall where I came from will be a part of my solution. I know I'll always be a recovering addict, but I also know there is a solution. With God as my Savior and AA as my support, I have my solution in my grasp. I thank God for the people He has put in my life. |