Most Likely To Succeed
My 5 siblings and I lived in a 3 family home we occupied
with other relatives. We all shared 1 bedroom and my parents slept in the living
room. As a licensed social worker, she insisted education was the top priority.
This became a lifeboat in the sea of desperation that my life would later
become. From the time my father crashed his car into a tree, things were never
the same. It disfigured him with a visible scar. He became a tyrant. Our house
became a war zone. My grandfather, who was unwilling to ignore my father’s
abuse, shot him.
Even before the trauma and the abuse, I recall feeling
different, feeling lonely. I created imaginary friends so vivid my mother had me
tested for sanity.
I left elementary school to enter Walnut High, one of
the top, affluent public schools in the nation. I didn’t fit in socially.
Because of my father’s progressive addiction and unemployment, we were forced to
live in poverty. I felt I wasn’t as good as everyone else. Soon I began to
experiment with drugs and was asked to leave the school because of academic
problems. They were not related to my ability, but rather from my newly acquired
practice of skipping classes. In three years, I attended three different
schools. My addiction progressed to blackouts.
I lived a “Jekyll and Hyde” existence. By day I was the
class vice president, prom king, and most likely to succeed. After school, I
tried almost any drug that didn’t require needles. I knew I didn’t want to live
this way, but I just couldn’t stop. In college, people were saying I was just
like my father. I decided in one of my moments of sanity the military was the
answer-a geographical cure for my disease.
My time in the Navy was a roller coaster ride. I started
with a lot of promise as one of the only minorities servicing ballistic
missiles. My addiction forced me out of the Navy, with my self-esteem totally
devastated. My addiction caused me to fail repeated at things I was perfectly
capable of doing.
I returned to Cincinnati and knew a period of clarity in
jobs. I got married, bought a house and lived the American dream. Despite my
short-term success, I failed to deal with my disease. I soon lost
everything-including my will to live.
At this point I became homeless. I bounced from relative
to relative after the divorce until I ran out of places to go. I then slept in
abandoned cars or in parks. I recall the feelings of emptiness and sadness and
sinking into depression everyday. I used to live and I lived to use.
My spiritual awakening came when my mother drove by
without stopping.
Stunned, I suddenly realized I was all alone in this
world. It was at this point my life began to change. I went back to the shelter
where I was staying and cried silently for help. I told a worker-recovered
addict-I wanted to die and I couldn’t stand the way I was living. She called
Courtney to take me to a meeting. I have not used since that day.
Seven years later, my life has changed dramatically.
Peter, /Counselor/ August 2002
Influenced by wonderful people, I spent 2 years at the
Greater Cincinnati Coalition for the homeless. I helped create public education
by helping to start /Street Vibes/, street newspaper, as well as a public access
radio and television show. I was then hired as the Executive Director, followed
by election to the board of directors to the State Coalition for Homelessness
and Housing in Ohio. I am now Director of the National Coalition for in
Washington, D.C. I am the youngest, first African-American, first formerly
homeless and first recovered addict to hold the role. I know I have been given a
tremendous gift, a second chance, and that chance came because beneath my smelly
clothes was a person who was most likely to succeed. I succeeded because other
people took a chance and helped me.
Peter, /Counselor/ August 2002